To many of us who are reading this, we all know too well how much our parents and loved ones have done for us, nurturing us and feeding us into the strong man and woman we are today. However, for an unfortunate few, who don't come from the full set of two parent nuclear families, often the result of divorce families, are as lucky as us to get the full unconditional love of two parents. This is often the results of family courts inadvertently overlooking the positive impact of the child due to manipulation of cases by lawyers and attorney's aside. In other words, the child thus is under the full jurisdiction of the single parent who is in custody of the child and thus is often manipulated into speaking for up for the spouse(the spouse who was awarded the rights of the child) into his/her favour and in doing so, loses out eventually as he/she doesn't get the full love and affection from the other spouse that most of us individual youths often receive.
Find out more information over here :
Ever since Care & Control was given to my ex-spouse (represented by PAP MP Mr Lim Biow Chuan) by Singapore Family Court, I was totally deprived of access to my son for 10 mths from Sep 08 to Jun 09 despite an existing Court Order giving me 8 hr access time per wk.
When I brought this up to the Court, not only was the 8 hrs access time not being enforced, & outstanding hrs not being made up to me as stated in the Court Order, my access time was instead being REDUCED to JUST 1 HR PER WK. And it has to take place at a Family Centre assigned by the Court (we have to pay $120/hr to be with our children).
Despite me bonding extremely well with my son at the Family Centre for 6 mths (Jul 09 to Jan 10), they recently arranged for a court counselor to interview my son and determined that "it is in his best interest that I do see him", and that "I may affect his PSLE examinations". So now I am COMPLETELY BLOCKED FROM ACCESS TO MY SON for the next 8 mths.
Such OPPRESSIONS are not uncommon among parents without Care & Control, and it is hardly the kind of fair justice that we are hoping for in our modern society. I believe more could be done to help parents bond with their estrangled children.
Many Singaporean divorced parents and children are suffering everyday as a result of Parental Alienation (PA).
Here are 3 cases in 2009:
http://www.divaasia.com/article/4314 (reported on the 5th July issue of The New Paper)
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/sto... (reported on the 22nd July issue of Lianhe Wanbao)
http://www.divaasia.com/article/6578 (reported on the 17th December issue of The New Paper)
PA is a conscious & continual effort by one parent to severe the other parent's affectionate relationship with the child through bad-mouthing, threatening, bashing & brainwashing. An intense on-going alienation will cause the child to think that any affection or loyalty for victimised parent is considered betrayal to the alienating parent. The child experiences an enormous amount of fear & guilt for wanting to love that victimised parent. Psychologically, this has huge ramifications on the child in the long-term.
PA is a gender-neutral issue that is affecting children and families all over the world and it needs to be addressed seriously.
Some clips on PA -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thYJN9...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4R1vf...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQIXAj...
Thousands of parents in Singapore, & millions others all over the world had been made victims of PA, including actor Alec Baldwin who spoke on CNN -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u38Lzl...
PA is a Mental & Emotional form of Child Abuse & it needs to be stopped.
Its time for the Singapore Family Court & those all over the world to start taking effective measures to end this aggresssion, & to start being fair to both parents by adopting mandatory shared parenting programs. Many alienated parents out there are being deprived of time with their children, such injusticed situation should not be allowed to exist.
To all victims of PA: Never give up fighting for our loved ones, justice will prevail, as in the case below in a Toronto court -
http://www.thespec.com/News/BreakingN...
Definition (Source: Wikipedia)
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'Parental Alienation is a form of relational aggression by one parent against the other parent using their common children.
Alienating parents often use grandparents, aunts/uncles, elder sibilings to alienate their children against the target parent.
Some forms of PA include:-
- brainwashing
- character assassination of the target parent
- the false inducement of fear
- using children to commit relational aggression against the target parent,
PA often forces children to choose sides and become allies against the target parent.
Extreme, obsessive, & ongoing PA can cause terrible psychological damage to children extending well into adulthood'
Acknowledgement
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I would like to express my personal gratitude to Mr. Howard Jones for the kind permission to use his beautiful song "Sleep My Angel".
Also a big "Thank-You" to my brother-in-Christ, Gerald Chia, for his contribution to the awesome slideshow.
Thanks to my family members, my friends (Azhar, Lim, Martin, Nathan, Kelvin, Stefan, Siak, Ken, Gary, Charles, Moo, Quek, KL, Jack, Jeff, Nik, Joel, C.Kang, Little Nyonya Jean, Corey, F1 Chen, Joc, Linda, Xavier, Teng, Daniel), my relatives, as well as Pastor Glen (from Elim Church Singapore) for all their prayers, encouragement & support during these difficult times.
I believe God will make things right in the end.
God bless us all.
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For more additional information, (:
visit this blog at http://parental-alienation-singapore.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2010-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&updated-max=2011-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=7
STAND UP against parental alienation "legitimized" by the Singapore courts. You can do so by visiting this blog and joining the facebook group http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=128445290045&ref=ss (:
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